Love is Forgiving

Almost every one of us hold on to resentment, grudges, negative attitudes, and upsets from some of our past experiences. These negative emotions that we hold on to are toxic and cause us a lot of harm. So, can we get rid of this toxicity? Forgiveness helps us to get rid of these negative emotions and  has the ability to bring about profound transformations in our lives. It brings us  Joy & Peace through healing both our inner and outer worlds.

What is Forgiveness?

Psychologists define Forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate act to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. Three distinct ways of practicing Forgiveness are: Forgiving others, Seeking Forgiveness from others and Forgiving Oneself.

We need to remember that no one is perfect and we do make mistakes that affect others. Likewise, we too get adversely impacted by some acts and deeds of others. Let the Divinity in you come to the fore and forgive others. That is why the famous cliché “To Err is Human and to Forgive is Divine”. Forgive others for their mistakes; Forgive yourself for your mistakes and seek Forgiveness from others for your mistakes.

Forgiving Others

“One who pursues revenge should dig two graves” ~ Chinese Proverb

Forgiving others is not about the other person. It is all about you. This is one act of selfishness that really works positively! It helps release the toxicity within.  Science has established that these negative emotions can cause various ailments, both psychological and physiological. Moreover, by holding on to these, you will attract more situations & circumstances that could cause resentment and anger in you.  It is one vicious cycle and one that can be avoided by practice of forgiveness

Remember, it is not about condoning the act or deed, but forgiving the person. 

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi

In a study, volunteers were asked to hold the thought of a person who had hurt, ill-treated, or insulted them. The thought of this person in their mind and their feeling of resentment, resulted in increased blood pressure and heart rate; and they sweated more. When the volunteers imagined forgiving the offender, it normalized their blood pressure and heart rate. They did not exhibit any abnormal stress reaction as well.

Seeking Forgiveness or Apologising

Remember, to err is human and most certainly,  it causes guilt and shame within us. Like any other negative emotion, guilt and shame also cause harm to our body and mind. By seeking the forgiveness of the affected person, you release this guilt and shame while also freeing the other person of the resentment and anger he could have been holding against you. When you apologise, it also means that you have taken responsibility for the hurt caused to the other person and it can be a learning experience for you. Seeking forgiveness improves relationships. So, whenever a person apologises to you, do forgive them. It will free you as well as the other person of all the toxic energy.

Self-Forgiveness

Forgiving self is as important as forgiving others and seeking forgiveness. You could be holding on to guilt and shame for your behaviours that caused harm to others or you could be angry and resentful with yourself for some wrong decision. It is important for you to be compassionate with yourself. Some people find self-forgiveness more difficult than forgiving others because of the belief that we need to be hard on ourselves in order to be successful. Know that self-forgiveness improves our well-being and productivity.

Forgiveness is a practice that can be learned by everyone of all ages and regardless of their present belief system, their past experiences, or their own behaviour with people around them.

“Love is Forgiving, Love is for giving.” ~ Unknown Author